|
Growing more tiresome by each iteration, "Goldmember"
can be summed up by one line: "Top Secret was better".
Need
to know more? Okay.
It's
really, really sad when the only thing distinguishing this from
that Abrahams and Zucker Bros. spy parody film is a lack of story.
Yeah, Austin Powers has even less of a story that "Top
Secret". Sure, Goldmember has better cameos (half of
which come in the first two minutes), 200X the budget and an army
of makeup technicians transforming Mike Myers into four different
characters. Measured laugh for laugh, gag for gag, however, "Top
Secret" comes on top.
Goldmember
has nicer girls. Beyonce Knowles gets to thrust her midriff at the
camera nicely and there are cuties throwing themselves at Austin
everywhere after which we can hear that stupid line: "oh behave".
The part with the Japanese twins with the amusing names was indistinguishable
from the "Roger, roger" skit in "Airplane" except
for the tits.
Mike
Myers may be responsible for resurrecting 60s and 70s nostalgia
on film for the masses, but Goldmember might be responsible
for killing it too. I love Afros and a pimp suits and glitter. But
after this assault on the mind I want to officially call retro-time
travel dead. Making fun of the dresses and the music isn't entertaining
any more.
All
would be forgiven if Goldmember was actually funny enough.
It isn't. The value of a film like "Top Secret" is that
it throws so many gags at you at such a high rate that you can forgive
the bad jokes because you don't even have time to consider them.
In Goldmember the bad jokes are extended. And some
of them are even repeated so if you hated them the first
time, you can shut your eyes and nod away the next time they roll
around.
What
is truly infuriating about Goldmember is the extent to which
it relies on fondness of the first two movies. So many of the gags
reference the earlier movies that anyone who can't remember them
will be shrugging or laughing because .. well.. everyone else seems
to be having a good time. Yuck. Solid yuck.
What
we have between all the spy movie references, bad SNL-level gags
and Mike Myers ham is a lot of groaning potty humour. We have farting,
crapping, peeing, wanking, crotch grabbing, kneeing, phallic references,
booby references, and the old tired characters from the first two
movies. The addition of Michael Caine makes for a couple good scenes
as part of the 60s icon-stealing theme. Maybe in Austin Powers 4
he'll be relegated to the same position as Michael York. Better
yet, he should hope to be killed off screen.
In
theatres
|
